thebest-memes:

"No matter how bad you fuck up at work, you didn’t fucked up this bad"
What You Crave vs What You Need
  • Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
  • Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
  • Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
  • Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
  • Cookies: Freudian psychology.
  • Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
  • Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
  • Ice: The sweet release of death.
vicky-leee:

viridiannightmares:

I bet anyone who doesn’t know this show would think this is a legit school picture

for a second I did, but then I saw coconut head and I screamed

taylorswift:

shakeitoffs:

do you ever just feel like

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Omg all the time.

1 hour ago · 11,978 notes

taylorswift:

mosaicbrokenhearts:

mosaicbrokenhearts:

taylorswift so like can i get your pumpkin chocolate chip cookie recipe or nah

taylorswift come on come on don’t leave me like this

I use different ones but this one is pretty solid.. Except that I don’t use milk chocolate chips, I use semi sweet or dark chocolate chocolate bars that I chopped up into different sized chocolate chunks.

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/pumpkin-chocolate-chip-cookies-recipe.html#

1 hour ago · 4,214 notes

taylorswift:

youareinloves:

taylor swift is like that aunt that tries to be “hip” with the young’ns and “with the times” and then asks you what does bae stand for and after you tell her she starts calling everything bae even the lamp next to the couch

HEY YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAMP NEXT TO MY COUCH AND I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT IS, IN FACT, VERY MUCH BAE.

1 hour ago · 8,557 notes

coutois:

6 months in jail for being a responsible father.

homwrecker:

sorcererinslytherin:

homwrecker:

this mother fucker is the voice of nemo

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shit i think i want to fuck nemo

this little fucker goes to my college— I’ve met him. To make matter worse, he’s sweet and shy. And hates it when people whisper “fish are friends, not food” around him. 

oh my god

10 hours ago · 496,651 notes

"25 things i wish i realized while i was still in highschool"
  1. That zit on your cheek literally does not matter
  2. Skipping class one time will not ruin your entire life
  3. The boy you’re trying so hard to impress will mean nothing to you in a year
  4. Bring coffee to school and ignore people who make fun of it
  5. Bring a snack, too. Don’t care if people hear you eating in class.
  6. Being popular isn’t and will never be something that seriously defines who you are
  7. Appreciate your teachers
  8. Doing/not doing drugs doesn’t make you cooler than anyone else.
  9. Neither does drinking
  10. Talk to the kid sitting alone; even though it may not change your life it could drastically change theirs
  11. Participate in school events
  12. Wear sweatpants everyday
  13. Or wear a dress everyday
  14. Wear whatever makes you comfortable
  15. Nobody will laugh at you if you sit alone at your lunch table for five minutes
  16. Utilize the library
  17. Don’t wait 20 minutes to text someone back just to seem cool
  18. Tell your friends how much you love them
  19. Cherish your free textbooks… seriously
  20. Help confused freshmen, be nice to them. Remember how much you would have appreciated it a couple years ago
  21. Compliment the other girls in the bathroom
  22. That fight you had with your mom really isn’t that big of a deal
  23. It’s okay to cry
  24. Don’t let your desire for a romantic relationship stop you from forming platonic relationships
  25. Remember that life does go on

(via tomlinbooties)


10 hours ago · 160,005 notes

wingscanspeak:

Hola, wingamigos! Hollymim here! Lets see how many pumpkins I can put on Guilian before she wakes up!image

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There we go children. If you find my body call the police.

10 hours ago · 267,694 notes